I belong to a Toastmasters group. It helps me work on my presentation skills, but the real value for me is the group of people I have come to respect and care about. There is a side benefit that I never would have identified even if you had given me days to make a list of positive outcomes from participating with them. That benefit is the opportunity to listen to the personal stories of others….the wonderful, interesting, emotional, revealing personal stories.
In the last few weeks I have heard people chronicle personal experiences with building a business including all the tough situations, hard times, and poignant moments of uncertainty and decision that caused them many sleepless nights. I have been regaled with stories of great physical challenge and accomplishment as a speaker relived outdoor adventures. I have listened as speakers, choked with emotion, spoke of a child suffering from serious or life-taking illness; or recalling a friend lost in battle; or detailing the plight of a parent’s struggle with memory loss.
These are more than personal stories. To me, they are the fabric of our lives. They are the tapestry woven from our relationships, our experiences, our scuffles with live and all that it puts into our days. The stories show the great strength, determination and character that individuals can display when faced with some of life’s most challenging moments. I find myself thinking about each story as I drive back to the office after our Thursday early morning sessions. I replay the words and wonder how the experiences changed the speakers’ life. I use the stories as examples in presentations I make with clients, or in conversational exchange with others to illustrate a point. I had a chance, after one such speech, to talk with someone about the design and building of the B-52 bomber that I had only learned a few days earlier. In short, I learn and I experience more because of the sharing of these wonderful, fascinating people.
But here is the extra learning for me from these experiences – I now walk down the street, sit next to someone on a plane, meet someone in a business appointment and I wonder what is his/her story. What past circumstances have they encountered, how did they handled it, what did they do, how did it feel, what impact did it have on their future are all questions that scoot around in my brain. Each of us has something to give to others. It isn’t just our individual expertise, it is more than that. We can give hope, support, new insight, and a host of other positives to one another. If only we will take the time to get to know one, trust and be personal with one another.
I was told once that business is just that, business. It isn’t personal. But I think that “they” had it wrong. The best business relationships, the best friendships, the best sense of being connected to our world comes from in-depth information about who the other people in our lives really are, understanding how they have come to be the person that we know.
We all live with so much pace, so many demands. Taking time for stories, to listen, learn and care creates lasting connection and closeness. And it is my opinion that there is just too little of that for most of us. So to all who have shared their personal stories in whatever venue; to all you have enriched the lives of others, thanks for giving the rest of us a chance to know you and ourselves so much better. You are now a part of the tapestry of our lives, and we are the better for it!
